Thursday, June 25, 2015
Monday, June 22, 2015
Friday, June 19, 2015
The shock waves from the giant flyswatter hitting the side of the Empire State building killed everyone on floors 28 through 31. Sadly, Fay Wray was one of those people. Without the beauty to tame the beast, King Kong continues his rein of terror to this day. Currently New York is deserted and consists of squashed buildings, 400 ton piles of banana peels (the bananas were put there by the residents of New Jersey as an offering to spare them), and of course giant gorilla shit.
As a side note, even King Kong had no desire to visit Jersey.
Thursday, June 18, 2015
Later a hobo broke up the "H" and the "N" to start a fire to warm his weary cold bones. The exclamation point came in handy to bludgeon a rival hobo who tried to steal his bindle stick. That evening the hobo curled up under the word balloon and fell asleep warmer and cosier than he has in years.
Wednesday, June 17, 2015
Once the sharks arrived, Francis wished he had yelled something like, "OH GOD, PLEASE HELP ME GET OUT OF THIS TERRIBLE SITUATION!" because then he could have gotten his entire body up out of the water. The "Arrggghhh" after his legs were chewed off was of little help at that point.
Tuesday, June 16, 2015
Monday, June 15, 2015
It's okay, when the plane was new, the giant played with it for hours. The next day however, he completely lost interest, leaving it tucked behind the mountain. After a few days the passengers and crew deemed it safe to leave and quietly and swiftly sneaked to the nearest town. They had only eaten three of their fellow passengers during that time. Not for lack of food, but come on, airline food is terrible. Am I right, people?