Wednesday, January 21, 2015
Tuesday, January 20, 2015
Monday, January 19, 2015
As I am sure you are aware, this was no accident. Cube pushed Sphere. For years Cube had been paying into a life insurance policy for Sphere. This "accident" would garner Cube a large payday, plus Cube was well aware that Sphere made Cube the beneficiary to all the royalties from Pac-Man which was based on both Sphere's image and propensity for eating colourful ghosts.
However, in a twist, Cube did not know the main ingredient in the salad Sphere had made for their picnic, but did not eat, was hemlock. In moments Cube would be paralyzed, but with a fully awake mind. Cube would put two and two together and mutter, "Well done old friend, well done" through unmoving lips, before respiratory system shut down forever.
Of course their estranged son, Cuboid, would receive all the royalties from Pac-Man and Rubik's Cube until his spouse Prism offed him with a sawed off shotgun. She was not so elegant.
Friday, January 16, 2015
If you think these cats are hungry for milk you are incorrect. They want beef. Steaks, sausage, roasts, veal, you name it. Don't be deceived by the grey cat dreaming of ice cream. That cone is made of beef jerky and that's not strawberry and chocolate. That's hamburger and cow blood. The cat with the cup wants a beef smoothie.
Thursday, January 15, 2015
Worse than the pain of being hit by lightening was that his popcorn was scooped up by the store, Kernels, and seasoned with Krazy Ketchup seasoning, which of course just went stale behind the counter and was eventually thrown to disgusting pigeons in front of the store. They didn't even eat that shit.
Wednesday, January 14, 2015
Tuesday, January 13, 2015
Not only did the fly not have benefits through his menial fast food job, but only a few short months later he was prescribed bi-focal lens. Also, the spider ate him when he picked up his bi-focals, BUT WAITED UNTIL AFTER HE HAD PAID!
Bonus: Challenge! Can you find the glasses made famous by the following people?
- Kanye West
- Elton John (hint: there are two pairs)
- John Lennon
- Plastic Man
- Dame Edna Everage