Thursday, June 4, 2015

Lunchroom Larfs- June 4, 2015


The ogre sued Orkin as he had just spent a small fortune to have his home fumigated for fairies. The kicker was he had to stay out his house for 3 days while the work was being done. He was forced to stay with his overbearing Aunt Edith who kept calling him "Jolly Green Giant" as he was not nearly mean enough to be an ogre in her books.

Wednesday, June 3, 2015

Lunchroom Larfs- June 3, 2015


When Ms. Dumpty found out she immediately claimed that Humpty had never loved their children, and it seemed awfully convenient that such an accident would happen right after they had an argument about finances that centered around providing for their little egglets. 

She had gone to bed weighing her options and just before falling into a fitful sleep decided that she would go to the police in the morning. The morning never came for Ms. Dumpty. Only a stack of banana pancakes were found at their house. It was deemed a murder suicide, but a few still believe Humpty Dumpty is out there very carefully riding the rails across the country as we speak. 

Tuesday, June 2, 2015

Lunchroom Larfs- June 2, 2015


The campfire was ruined after one of the ants dropped their marshmallow on the ground and ants from miles around swarmed them.

Monday, June 1, 2015

Lunchroom Larfs- June 1, 2015


This selfish act of Ruthie Joad, the girl on the bicycle, kick started the great Oklahoma drought and forced her family to flee to California to try and eke out a meager living. Trust me, I've read Grapes of Wrath, it's all in there.

Friday, May 29, 2015

Lunchroom Larfs- May 29, 2015


Though with the head of a man, and the haunches of a lion, the Great Sphinx of Giza had the feces of a middle aged truck drivers whose diet consisted mainly of fast food and cheap beer.

Thursday, May 28, 2015

Lunchroom Larfs- May 28, 2015


Since the death of printed media Superman had been struggling. His alter ego Clark Kent couldn't get a job to save his life. Not like that little bastard Spiderman who was a "photojournalist" and would always be in demand as a result of how quickly the public ate up online photo heavy media.

Superman needed a paycheck, after all the Fortress of Solitude wasn't going to pay it's own electricity bill. Thus, Superman resorted to babysitting gigs, but often didn't get repeat work as a result of situations like this one.

Wednesday, May 27, 2015

Lunchroom Larfs- May 27, 2015


Most of the fruits and vegetables agreed that if they were going to go to the big Bodega in the sky this was the way to go. Except the corn on the cob, who lodged himself sideways halfway down choking the giraffe. He was a spiteful and hateful little cob.