Friday, November 29, 2013
This is the moment where the young boy still has an interest in nature and science. Seconds from now he will realize those suckers will pop if you catch the sun just right through the magnifying glass. He then winds down a long path to being bludgeoned to death in the jail washroom as the infamous Jefferey Dahmer.
I asked my daughter what this one was about. She said the boy was looking for those responsible for stealing his toys. The ants are running because they are guilty.
Thursday, November 28, 2013
Wednesday, November 27, 2013
Tuesday, November 26, 2013
Monday, November 25, 2013
My daughter says the unicorn is rolling her eyes and thinking, "Why aren't these shoes on my feet?"
Seconds later the unicorn gores the gnome and trots him through Gnome Town as a warning to all the others not to fuck with a unicorn.
Friday, November 22, 2013
This one's a bit sad. My daughter tells me that the starfish is sad because he wants to have friends. Originally I thought he wanted to be a star in the sky but I think she is right. His only friend is the clam who is dreadfully tedious, "I'll show my parents, they didn't believe in me. I'll show them. I can too produce a pearl!" He never does though. After his rant he just gets drunk and watches old episodes of Family Guy on Netflix. The starfish then thinks about joining Lavalife.
Thursday, November 21, 2013
This is the fruit version of "The Lottery". You can see some grapes are relieved that they were not picked, while others are angry or saddened by the lose of a comrade. A few will live to be wrinkled old raisins, while others will be lost under the couch.
Wednesday, November 20, 2013
Originally I had planned to have the city in the background engulfed in flames, but that seemed a little too much for a group of grade one students. What you can't see is that behind the hamster is the squashed corpse of a man, that will forever be run over again and again until hardly recognizable as human.
Also, if you look closely in the pet shop window a cat and normal sized hamster are pumping their fist in victory. All domesticated pets want us dead.
Tuesday, November 19, 2013
The worst part? Three of this goose's cousins got caught in the propeller just after this scene. There were no survivors. Somewhere Sully Sullenberger did a jig of joy when he got the news. It turns out Sully has always hated geese and had purposely aimed flight 1549 on January 15, 2009 at the flock of geese before landing in the Hudson, presumably to ensure the geese died by downing them. Now where is your hero?
Monday, November 18, 2013
My daughter explained that the giant accidentally put his feet through the trains and ended up skating. The people on the train were thrilled.
Note to VIA Rail: I can't afford to take the train anymore, I assume due to the price of gas. Smarten up and become giant powered already. Just be wary of those with athlete's foot. They should be cheaper trains.
Thursday, November 14, 2013
Everyday I ask my daughter what she thought the day's note in her lunch means. This one she explained was that the caterpillar didn't couldn't eat the sweater (perhaps an allergy to acrylic yarns, or more likely just the caterpillar is a pretentious dick). So instead it just drank wine all night. Doesn't help that he's an angry drunk. If you cross him that larva will fuck you up after a Bordeaux bender.