Monday, March 31, 2014

Lunchroom Larfs- March 31, 2014

The circle, Darren,  was convinced to attend the dance by his old collage pal. It was a wonderful night, he met and danced with a bewitching square named Winona. For a while they were able to hide their forbidden love, but eventually word got out. Their parents disowned them and the city folk harassed them. Darren and Winona took all this in stride until the night a number of angry neighbors, some of who in day to day dealings had been so polite to them both, showed up on their front yard cloaked in bedsheets. Darren and Winona fled their home, leaving all their lives and possessions behind. By jumping a box car they just barely escaped to Chicago where after struggling and living on the streets they eventually found a community, a home and satisfying employment before raising a family (two triangle twins and a strapping young trapezoid). Neither held ill feelings to their old home town, for without it they never would have found the peace and happy life they now held. There was no anger there, merely pity.   

Friday, March 28, 2014

Lunchroom Larfs- March 28, 2014

The ants had always been a welcoming bunch. Even though many had reservations about this strange visitor, their hospitality won out. The anteater was so taken by the warmth and generosity of the ants he carried on his charade for a full two weeks before devouring the entire colony, albeit with a  tear in his eye.

Thursday, March 27, 2014

Lunchroom Larfs- March 27, 2014

Though angler fish are among the most mysterious and usual fish in the ocean, they are also the stupidest.

Wednesday, March 26, 2014

Lunchroom Larfs- March 26, 2014

The hermit crab was pleased with the new home he purchased. That was until he found that a horseshoe crab couple down the street were running a meth lab out of their coral. The other neighbors seemed to not want to back him up in a petition to drive them out of the neighborhood, for fear of causing waves. The overworked and understaffed police force proved to be of little help. Eventually the hermit crab threw a molotov cocktail into the coral. Though he succeeded in driving the drug dealers out of the area, he ended up in jail for 14 years. On the bright side he had plenty of time to complete his PhD in Biblical Studies.

Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Lunchroom Larfs- March 25, 2014

It was always sad for Little Apple to visit Grandma in the home. Not only did the halls smell of death and disinfectant, but it was always disheartening when they exited the elevator to see the other old fruits sit up at attention, hanging on to the hope that their family had not forgotten them. The saddest was the dementia stricken Old Banana who truly thought Little Apple was his Granddaughter. She was a good kid though, and would often draw a picture for him signed "Little Banana". 

When the Old Banana died he left Little Apple his entire estate, two mansions and a thriving pesticide company. It turned out his knew all along that Little Apple wasn't his relative, but all the same enjoyed her visits and acted as though he was demented so they would continue. His real children felt slighted though they barely knew Old Banana in his later years. They learned from their mistakes and became a tighter family as a result, even inviting Little Apple to future family reunions.

- synopsis from Fruit Hallmark Channel Original Movie, "The Apple Doesn't Fall From The Banana Tree"

Monday, March 24, 2014

Lunchroom Larfs- March 24, 2014

After coming out of a six week coma, the kangaroo sued the city and won a hefty settlement. That is why today you see warning signs for kangaroos at the entrance of every tunnel in Australia.

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Lunchroom Larfs- March18, 2014

After applying latex paint and sand as well as installing mesh at the bottoms of trees had failed, the beaver in the cabin shot the other beaver and wore his pelt. He was sort of a sicko.

Monday, March 17, 2014

Lunchroom Larfs- March 17, 2014

The kangaroo forgot to remove her joey before enjoying her breakfast. Her cereal had a surprise that wasn't a baking soda powered submarine that day.

Thursday, March 6, 2014

Lunchroom Larfs- March 6, 2014

Sure it was easy to kill in this room, after all he knew all the topics that would go over well: how zebra bones get stuck in your teeth, how a carcass smells terrible, but tastes delicious and a few well placed jokes about the hyenas that live in Mozambique, who everyone knows are rubes. The true test would be next week when he took his act to the road.

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Lunchroom Larfs- March 5, 2014

The chameleon almost got away with it, until he opened the bag and the blue dye pack exploded in his face. Still though, his ability to camouflage in really helped out in the prison shower room.

Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Monday, March 3, 2014

Lunchroom Larfs- March 3, 2014

The only thing that made the Raymond's anniversary any different from any other dinner in their loveless marriage was the candle was lit tonight.

NOTE: When I asked my daughter what she thought this cartoon meant, she told me the two rays were arguing over who should go get the food from the kitchen, "You asked for the food, so you go get it."