Friday, June 27, 2014

Lunchroom Larfs- June 27, 2014- FINAL DAY OF SCHOOL

No dark adult jokes today, just a nice picture for my daughter to colour containing a lot of the characters from previous cartoons in her lunch.

Oh hell, and all the characters died of Legionnaires Disease due to improper venting in the heating/air conditioning ducts. I couldn't resist.

Thursday, June 26, 2014

Lunchroom Larfs- June 26, 2014

Even after he stole her heart and then her priceless jewels handed down from her Great Great Grandmother, Mandy still missed those late nights in the tree talking about their dreams and hopes, and their future together. They had talked about eloping to France and getting married under the Eiffel Tower, then returning home and raising a brood of kittens. They even had names picked out, Justin, Francis, Petunia and Acorn. They imagined themselves as old squirrels rocking from the crutch of a birth tree and watching the fall colours change day to day, holding each other closely in a way that brought instant comfort and warmth, something only true love can bring. Also she would miss looking at his nuts each night. Walnuts and acorns you sick bastard...

Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Lunchroom Larfs- June 24, 2014

The goat knew that the two climbers attempt to claim the mountain was futile. He was already the king of this mountain and would butt them off the cliff as soon as they turned around to plant their flags.

Monday, June 23, 2014

Lunchroom Larfs- June 23, 2014

The monkeys then flung feces at the elephant for the next twenty minutes until he got out of the pond and trampled two of the to death.

Friday, June 20, 2014

Lunchroom Larfs- June 20, 2014

As it happened the two ghosts were horrified and worried about their friend. However, the worst that happened was he got dyed pink because colours were not separated.

Thursday, June 19, 2014

Lunchroom Larfs- June 19, 2014

Though the father bluejay thought it was a harmless gag, once the babies were born and turned out to be hideously deformed, guilt ate away at him. Plus all the pregnancy photos of the eggs were clearly in bad taste and had to be destroyed.

Wednesday, June 18, 2014

Lunchroom Larfs- June 18, 2014

The little fish walked straight into the WaterShed Bar, where all fishing boat captains go to drink and cavort after a hard day of sailing. He short Captain Williams square in between the eyes and dragged him back to the sea, where he was fileted and the unusable parts thrown back onto the shore.

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Lunchroom Larfs- June 17, 2014

The shark cops weren't as excited about catching their perp, as they were about using their new handcuffs... and eating the octopus.

Monday, June 16, 2014

Lunchroom Larfs- June 16, 2014

The tip left is always a dose of West Nile, unless the service is crappy, then it's Yellow Fever.

Thursday, June 12, 2014

Lunchroom Larfs- June 12, 2014

Turned out that fish was a cattle rustler. A posse hunted him down and was hung. Of course in the sea a hanging consists of strapping the fish to a board and holding it above the sea level.

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

Lunchroom Larfs- June 11, 2014

Originally the spider had created the playground to trap and eat child flies. But the sight of those little insects having such fun tugged at his pericardium. He watched them playing for hours and then ate their parents as they arrived to pick up the kids.

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Lunchroom Larfs- June 10, 2014

Giant eating a Popsicle, or a tiny man skating on a regular sized treat? Either way the guy got sick due to food contamination.

Monday, June 9, 2014

Lunchroom Larfs- June 9, 2014

Because the moon lost track of time hanging with his buddy the sun, tidal waves destroyed the eastern seaboard. "But come on, it was really good coffee," he was later overheard as saying.

Thursday, June 5, 2014

Lunchroom Larfs- June 5, 2014

The bread sunbathing ignored the threat of skin cancer. He was so ignorant, he thought melanoma was a brand name of margarine, and never thought anything about it as he was strictly a "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter" man.

Wednesday, June 4, 2014

Lunchroom Larfs- June 4, 2014

It was painful for the blue flower to see her old boyfriend, the bee, in love with another flower. She cursed her roots for not even allowing her to turn around and not see the public display of affection. She did however enjoy the knowledge that her boyfriend's new partner would soon have herpes on her stamen.

Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Lunchroom Larfs- June 3, 2014

The octopus' plan was genius. He made a clean getaway from the aquarium. His only problem was the time of year. It was June, Stanley Cup finals. As he was passing Madison Square Gardens on the F-train a Rangers fan grabbed him and threw him on the ice. In front of 3.4 million television viewers he became the martyr for cephalopod rights. A statue made of plastic bottles and shopping bags was erected in the Atlantic Ocean a few miles off the Florida shoreline. That statue was destroyed by a large fishing boat that was bottom trawling.

Monday, June 2, 2014

Lunchroom Larfs- June 2, 2014

That poor balloon dog has never known the joy of sniffing and pissing on a fire hydrant... only her owners head.