Thursday, December 18, 2014

Lunchroom Larfs- December 18, 2014

The carrot hadn't seen any friends for days since he was taken from the crisper. He was overjoyed to find another carrot, though oddly colored, so near to him. Unfortunately, the icicle was a real stuck up jackass and melted alone and bitter at the world, never making a connection to anyone else. Truly a life wasted.

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

Lunchroom Larfs- December 17, 2014

It's okay, the icicles did not fall to their death, two small boys came along and used them as swords until after immense pain, they broke into dozens of pieces and were eaten by a neighbor's dog.

Thursday, December 11, 2014

Lunchroom Larfs- December 11, 2014

Frosty was fined $2,000 for this offense, which he could not pay as he had no money, employment or even identification. He was arrested and put in jail for the night. Although no one can explain how Frosty escaped that night. The only things found in his cell the next morning was a hat, a button a couple of pieces of coal and a puddle of water.

An APB was put out against Frosty and a $5,000 reward for his capture was issued. To date, no one has collected that reward.

Wednesday, December 10, 2014

Lunchroom Larfs- December 10, 2014

The delivery man took back the pizza and returned with a very hot pizza kept warm in a portable oven. The main toppings of that second pizza was saliva and urine.

Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Lunchroom Larfs- December 9, 2014

The downfall of the alphabet was that the the "O" was a double agent and was really a "0".

"The numerals were sadly outnumbered, but the letters quickly voided their vowels."

Monday, December 8, 2014

Lunchroom Larfs- December 8, 2014

This was only the beginning, soon the trees started taking back all the wood they had lost over the years. Houses were ripped down to their foundations, books were ripped from children's hands and artsy rich people's reclaimed wooden benches were ironically reclaimed.

Thursday, December 4, 2014

Lunchroom Larfs- December 4, 2014

Oozy the Trash-Man terrorized the town until around midnight a racoon knocked him over and dislodged his hat.

Wednesday, December 3, 2014

Lunchroom Larfs- December 3, 2014

The elf got his revenge on Christmas Eve when he was put in charge of attaching the flank straps to the reindeer. Rudolph and his little brother Randolph has one uncomfortable night of Jingle Balls.

Monday, December 1, 2014

Lunchroom Larfs- December 1, 2014

The witch once again questioned her life choices. If she had gone with the liverwurst house the giant child never would have bothered her. After all normal sized starving children in the woods would still eat liverwurst if there was no other option.