Friday, October 30, 2015

Lunchroom Larfs- October 30, 2015

Three days later a cat and a dog got in there and messed up the skeleton's rib cage something awful. From that point on he just plugged up his eye and nose holes and carried a Tetra fish around.

Thursday, October 29, 2015

Lunchroom Larfs- October 29, 2015

The pumpkin skull joined the countless skulls of acorn squash, butternut squash, spaghetti squash and zucchinis in the towering pile in Amber's backyard.

Wednesday, October 28, 2015

Lunchroom Larfs- October 28, 2015

Eventually Nigel realized a lunch bag was a much more efficient way to carry his lunch to work.

Tuesday, October 27, 2015

Lunchroom Larfs- October 27, 2015

Worse than the high water bill due to this performance was the cost of royalties to the estate of Arthur Freed for singing the lyrics. Oh, and the structural water damage to ceiling downstairs.

Monday, October 26, 2015

Lunchroom Larfs- October 26, 2015

As a child the cake's mother used to lecture him about finishing his plate. As an adult he will eat one shoe for it's fiber, but he'll be damned if he's gonna eat two of those disgusting things.

Friday, October 23, 2015

Lunchroom Larfs- October 23, 2015

Much like when Superman turned back time, in the movie Superman: The Movie, time was reversed by this act back the point in World War II, where Harry S. Trueman throws his bow tie at Hitler vanquishing him to the Phantom Zone. 

Wednesday, October 21, 2015

Lunchroom Larfs- October 21, 2015

Growing up without parents was hard for little Medusa. She was withdrawn and didn't make many friends, but everyone no one debated when she would win the best landscaping for her beautiful front yard year after year. 

Tuesday, October 20, 2015

Lunchroom Larfs- October 20, 2015

Even worse than losing all his skin that plunger never came off Edwin's skull. All the other kids called him "the skinless shit head". Though at Halloween when the school toilet was plugged up and the great decoration famine plagued the Midwest Edwin was considered a hero for many reasons.

Friday, October 16, 2015

Lunchroom Larfs- October 16, 2015

Ironically, the sausages were underdone and gave the diners worms... that the birds ate.

Thursday, October 15, 2015

Lunchroom Larfs- October 15, 2015

Thankfully no one else bothered to attend a hoedown during the say, so Katie quickly put up a poster for Boys II Men and never spoke of Silvia again. Oddly, no one else did either. Everyone hated Silvia.

Wednesday, October 14, 2015

Lunchroom Larfs- October 14, 2015

The fish then attracted the cats, who attracted the wolf cubs, which attracted the grizzly bear which was attracted to the girl. After a few months they moved into a den together and raised their own cubs. The girls friends said she gave up what was sure to be a successful career in dance to be a Mamma Bear. Others said she wasn't that great of a dancer anyway.

Tuesday, October 13, 2015

Lunchroom Larfs- October 13, 2015

It went pretty well, until the cat needed to use the litter box. And even that wasn't the rough part, it was when the cat tried to bury it's scat. John didn't get the adoring looks he desperately longed for that day, only an infection and stitches on his forehead.

Friday, October 9, 2015

Lunchroom Larfs- October 9, 2015

Jimmy was always falling into holes. The next time he fell into working well, but the water snakes were too slippery to tie together. After eating as many as he could, he was saved 15 minutes after falling in.

Thursday, October 8, 2015

Lunchroom Larfs- October 8, 2015

When Agnes went to the ocean the sperm whales did the same thing due to her perfume made of ambergris. 

Wednesday, October 7, 2015

Lunchroom Larfs- October 7, 2015

You don't want to know what these dogs did when they found out about Alamo attacker Santa Anna's leg at the Illinois State Military Museum

Monday, October 5, 2015

Lunchroom Larfs- October 5, 2015

That's right, when it rains those puddles you step in are thousands of little dead raindrops. YOU MONSTER!

Friday, October 2, 2015

Lunchroom Larfs- October 2, 2015

Later glass was filled up with mescalin. He then killed a prostitute after hallucinating she was a bendy straw.

Thursday, October 1, 2015

Lunchroom Larfs- October 1, 2015

The man was just lucky he put the ghost on the way way he did. Had that ghost been backwards, the baby's mess would have just come out the mouth hole. And that would have been bad for everyone.